When it comes to understanding autism, we all want to think of ourselves as someone who “gets it,” and those affected by autism deserve teachers, therapist and other helping professionals who do. As a child psychologist, when families relay to me their experiences of individuals who just don’t “get it”, it seems really unfortunate, and unnecessary.
Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant
Perhaps this is why I appreciated a recent chapter in the book Uniquely Human, by Barry Prizant, Ph.D (Click here for the book review and link to amazon.com). In the chapter entitled, What It Takes to “Get It,” Dr. Prizant detailed the experience of several families who crossed paths with individuals who just didn’t understand autism.
In my work with many children and families affected by autism, I’ve collaborated with teachers, church members, coaches, family members, and school personnel. I’ve provided seminars to clinicians and educators and I’ve come to believe that it takes more than an education or good intentions to understand autism. Understanding autism, to some degree, means living it. It takes really getting to know a child with autism. It helps to get to know the parents, their story, the things they celebrate and the things for which they struggle. It takes experience, but also characteristics like empathy, the willingness to share control, and flexibility.
Have Empathy. According to Dr. Prizant, those who “get it” try to understand the experience of the child. They resist labeling behavior as “autistic behavior” and instead see the child first as, human. They ask themselves “why might this behavior occur?” Or, “What purpose does this behavior serve?” They’re not quick to default negative assumptions about the child’s intentions, like assuming the behavior is an attempt to manipulate.
Share Control. Those who really understand autism are sensitive to the child’s emotional state and range of dysregulation. They don’t use strategies designed to control the child, but instead share control with the child. They focus first on building trust and rapport with the child by listening, respecting and collaborating.
Be Flexible. Those who get it tend to be flexible, and value responsiveness to the child a higher priority than following a prescribed program. They often use humor and strive not to take life too seriously.
Those who “get it” change lives everyday. They are advocates and God-se
nds for families. They are people who understand autism and have first-hand experience with the struggles and successes of someone with autism, and their family. April is Autism Awareness Month. If you or a loved one is affected by autism, share your experience with others. So they too can “get it” and help the world be a better place for everyone.
nds for families. They are people who understand autism and have first-hand experience with the struggles and successes of someone with autism, and their family. April is Autism Awareness Month. If you or a loved one is affected by autism, share your experience with others. So they too can “get it” and help the world be a better place for everyone.
For more on tips on understanding autism, see the post titled Five Things You Need to Know About Children with Autism.
Written by Adam Benton, PhD, Licensed Psychologist and Co-Founder of Arkansas Families First, LLC.
