Breaking Free of the Picky Eating Trap

Many families struggle with picky eating. They often find themselves stuck in the same repetitive cycle where the child shuts down at the sight of certain foods, and parents get anxious about food intake and frustrated at their inability to “make” their child eat. If you’re struggling with a picky eater, this blog will offer some tips to help you manage your child’s eating habits. Don’t forget the Arkansas Families First team is here to offer additional support. If you need a little extra helping to encourage your picky eater to get the nutrition they need, it may be time to consider therapy for kids or families with one of our knowledgeable therapists.

Why Is My Child a Picky Eater?

Often, picky eating stems from cautiousness and anxiety around food and mealtime. Trying new things requires emotional energy. Think of a time you pushed yourself to try something new, like a new restaurant, or the first time you tried something like Sushi. We all have days where we are open to adventurous eating and days where we just want the old favorites. Children experience this too, but often, with less positive experiences with “adventurous eating” than adults who’ve experimented with new foods hundreds of times. Other children may be picky eaters because they are honed into the idea that eating is a choice. For many kids, it becomes about that choice, expressing autonomy, and learning how to manage things that they control.

Picky Eating Children, Parenting and Family

Top 6 Tips for Breaking Free of the Picky Eating Trap

Picky Eating Resources

Grocery Bingo

Mealtime Bingo

EatRight.org

Tips for Parents of Picky Eaters

Zerotothree.org

How To Handle Picky Eaters

Here are some tips to help picky eaters break free from their anxiety and control the struggles of picky eating:

  1. Keep mealtime light and fun. Remember, you don’t lose power struggles that never start. Keeping mealtime light and fun keeps it rewarding and pleasant. Picky eaters often benefit from experiencing positivity around food. So, put parental anxiety about nutrition and growth aside and start with making mealtime an enjoyable time.
  2. Get kids involved in meal planning. Once your picky eater is enjoying mealtime again. It may be time to start getting them involved in food prep and choices. This gives them a sense of control and agency over what they eat. They can learn skills they’ll need to be independent. Cooking can be great quality time with mom or dad, and it layers on those positive food experiences that picky eaters need. Involving children in meal planning can be made into a fun activity starting at the grocery store by creating games out of meal planning, such as Grocery Store Bingo.
  3. Routine. Food, like music, often gets better as we become more comfortable with it. So, let routines help with doing the dirty work. By creating positive routines around mealtime, like playing a game at dinner, cooking together, or talking about each other’s day, routines make life simpler and more predictable. It will do the same for your picky eater. Repeated exposure to uneaten foods, often leads to natural curiosity. Let that curiosity unfold. Remember, be patient.
  4. No A La Carte meals. This is a hard one for some parents, but most experts agree that, for picky eaters, parents should not cook individual meals, so they’ll eat. Instead, it is recommended that parents cook meals that include at least one thing the picky eating child could fill up on. Allow them to choose not to eat the other food, but you’re only making one dinner. If they desire to prepare their own healthy, parent-approved meal, then that’s okay. It just needs to be their effort, not yours. 
  5. Be playful about food. Make food fun, curious, artistic, or just silly. Approach food with wonder and appreciation.

Reflect On Your Approach to Food

We each have a history and attitude toward food. Consider these questions… Do you savor and appreciate food as you eat? Do certain foods have cultural or traditional meanings to you? Do you rush through your food? Do you consider food a task to check off the list? Is food bonding and celebratory? Spend some time thinking about what food means to you; what values you want your children to have about food, and then consider the phrases that you use when trying to get a picky eater to try new foods. Although it may require some practice, it is relatively easy to change negative food phrases into positive and helpful phrases.

    1. Negative phrases that often hinder openness to trying new foods include:
      1. “Eat that for me.”
      2.  “If you do not eat one more bite, I will be mad”
    2. Instead, try more positive phrases like pointing out the sensory qualities of food.
      1. “This is a type of fruit called Kiwi; it is very sweet like a strawberry.”
      2. “These radishes are very crunchy!”

Can Family Therapy Help My Picky Eater?

In summary, changing one’s eating routines and openness to trying new foods takes time. It’s a change in their habitual way of approaching food. With a little focus and discipline, most kids can become more open to a variety of foods. While the tips listed above can be helpful, remember that each child is different and may respond differently to various types of strategies. In addition to those tips, the USDA’s website has a wide variety of resources, articles, and activities that can be used to assist picky eaters. If you want to partner with a therapist to help picky eaters who are really struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to our team. We’re here to help.

About the Author

Logan Snyder is a graduate student at the University of Central Arkansas. He’s working on a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. Mr. Snyder is currently a trainee at Arkansas Families First, LLC, where he provides specialized counseling and assessment services for children, teens, and families.