Teen Dating Violence: Get in the Know

Teen dating violence is more common than you may think. In this article Ms. Christie lays out the facts and warning signs, to empower you, as parents, to protect your teens through education and appropriate limits.  Read below for the full scoop!

“It’s complicated”…a common response when adults, and even adolescents, are asked about their romantic relationship status. The good news is, relationships do not have to be complicated! Healthy relationships should add to one’s sense of self-confidence, should make attaining life goals and tasks easier, and should be a source of support when life becomes challenging. Couples therapists call healthy relationships “safe-havens,” meaning that when life becomes difficult, coming home to ones that love and support us should reduce anxiety and emotional distress, not add to it (Johnson, 2002). 

Unfortunately, research has shown that violence in teenage relationships is more common than any of us would like to think. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC, 2021), one in eleven females and one in fourteen male high school students reported physical dating violence last year. Approximately one in eight adolescent females and one in twenty-six adolescent males reported sexual dating violence in the prior year (CDC, 2021). Disturbingly, approximately 28% of females and 15% of males experienced their first sexual assault, physical assault or stalking in a dating relationship prior to the age of 18 (CDC, 2021). 

“Is your relationship a safe haven?”

An article by Cascardi (2016) found that physical dating violence often begins in adolescence and may continue into early adulthood and beyond. Being raised in a home or environment where children witness adults and family engaging in violent behavior or being frequently exposed to scary, intense experiences, can increase the risk that youth will become involved in future violent relationships. Some research theories say this is due to watching and learning how to act in relationships with others. 

Other research shows that children who live in frightening or chaotic environments can develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety disorders and health conditions such as frequent stomach aches, nausea, pain that has no medical origin, and insomnia (Cascardi, 2016). These symptoms and conditions make it easier for a teenager to end up in unhealthy relationships because mentally and physically they are already worn down. If a relationship becomes violent, it can then be harder to fight back or know what to do to escape difficult or dangerous situations. Making this topic even more complicated. Sometimes there is no reason from the past why adolescents get involved in violent relationships! If violence or chaos becomes a normal part of one’s life, it may not appear dangerous at first in a dating relationship.

Warning signs to look out for while adolescents are in romantic relationships are: 

• developing bruises or injuries that are unexplainable 
• increased and unexplainable irritability 
• loss of their friendships
• unusual crying spells 
• unexplained health symptoms like nausea, insomnia, stomach pain, or headaches that are not typical for your child 
• unusual guilt or shame
• suicidal thoughts 
• canceling attending events that they normally would like to go to  

It is never easy, at any age, to be told by others that you need to leave a relationship. Sometimes children and teenagers take feedback from a trusted adult or counselor better than they would from their own parents. Counseling can help children and adolescents learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships and how to leave toxic relationships in as safe a manner as possible. Research has found that counseling addressing PTSD, depression, or anxiety symptoms can be a protective factor, reducing the risk for future unhealthy relationships (Cascardi, 2016). The CDC (2021) recommends the following to help prevent dating violence at the individual and systemic levels, intervening ideally before adolescence: 

1. Teach safe and healthy relationship skills
2. Engage influential adults and peers
3. Disrupt the developmental pathways toward partner violence
4. Create protective environments
5. Strengthen economic support for families
6. Support survivors to increase safety and lessen harm

More detailed information on each of these intervention points can be located at the CDC website: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teendatingviolence/fastfact.html

Citations: 

• Cascardi, M. (2016). From violence in the home to physical dating violence victimization: The mediating role of psychological distress in a prospective study of female adolescents. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 45(4), 777-792.
• Johnson, S. M. (2002). Emotionally focused couple therapy with trauma survivors: Strengthening attachment bonds. New York, NY: Guilford Press. 
• https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teendatingviolence/fastfact.html