National Safety Month – Guest Contributor Gerald New

© Johnkasawa | Dreamstime.com – Bicycle Mountain Bike Safety Helmet Photo

June is National Safety Month and when the good people at the Arkansas Families First asked me to write a column on the subject, I jumped at the chance to bring my patented brand of wit and sarcasm to a fairly serious subject matter. I was honored and humbled to even be asked to contribute to such a professional organization and over the next 1000 words or so, I will certainly do everything I can to not completely embarrass the esteemed doctors with what is commonly referred to in the counseling world as a “lapse in judgement.”

Safety is somewhat of a broad subject. In fact, it’s extremely broad, and to encompass the entire genre of discussion points here would be an exercise in futility, to say the least. Entire books could be written for each particular age because, as we all know, the things that apply at age 2, don’t necessarily apply at age 6, and most certainly don’t apply at age 12. So without getting into specifics, let’s break down what we are even talking about here. If you are a parent, it is assumed that you are generally grown up (although, this is not always true, let’s try to work in generalities, shall we?), and if you are generally grown up, that means you have survived your childhood, for better or for worse. And if you did indeed survive your childhood, then that is some clear cut evidence your parents or guardians found a way to help you stay safe on your way to being the extremely mature and well-rounded adult and parent that you currently are. I’m sure you are with me so far…we haven’t strayed too far away from some pretty basic principles just yet.

So, now that we have determined that your parents actually did something right, let’s examine how they did it. Without question, parents are like the proverbial snowflake, fingerprint or night in Las Vegas. No two are exactly alike, therefore the parent’s methods of keeping their children safe are most likely unique as well. The “safety line” starts with the parent who basically let’s their child do anything they so choose at any given time, and ends with the parent who commonly wraps their bundle of joy in bubble wrap if they even think about walking out the door with crazy intentions such as putting one foot in front of the other or even just being a part of civilization in the most general of terms. You know what I’m talking about. Those parents that are oh, so easy to judge. The ones that are flat out doing it all wrong. Man, I love those parents. They make me feel so good about life in general. But here is the rub: We are all those parents. No matter what we do to insure the safety of our kids, we are doing it all backwards according to the ‘know it all’ sitting across from you in the Dunkin Donuts sipping on her Mocha Grande with that completely annoying smirk on her face. And to add even more fuel to the fire, that condescending, pitiful excuse for a person is actually right! Wait….how can that be? I’m good at this parenting thing. Really, I am. Here is the reason why she is right: Every child is its own unique creation, therefore needs his/her own point on the safety line. You must know your child more than anyone else knows them. You must study them and make the best possible decision based on his or her own personality. Let’s say your two kids are complete polar opposites when it comes to their independence and exploratory nature. Treat them differently and give them the proper amount of “safety” that they require. Am I saying let your level headed 5-year-old run a muck in the city streets because he has shown signs of making good decisions with the milk jug? No, of course not. All I’m saying is to have a plan for each child that is tailor made to his/her own specific needs. You say you have a carefree 8 year old daredevil who has never backed down from a challenge? Well, guess what….get ready for another 10 years of keeping those eyes that you had installed in the back of your head on standby. Have regular discussions with that child about decision making and judgement. Will you be viewed as the nag? Of course, but if done in a non-confrontational way, it can lead to some good communication, which we can all agree is never a bad thing within the confines of the parent/child relationship.

There is absolutely no playbook for keeping your children out of harms way. If harm hasn’t found them, it’s just a matter of time because harm doesn’t give up. Harm has stood the test of time and harm knows what the heck he’s doing. As long as table makers put 4 corners on their product, as long as baseball coaches yell “SLIDE” when the play is close, and as long as monkey bars are built 7 feet from the ground, harm is inevitable, so just relax and use your best judgement based on each kid’s particular tendencies and characteristics. Oh…and buy a first aid kit…or two.