Post-Sandusky America: Who Can You Trust?
Who do you trust with your kids? In the wake and the subsequent fallout of the Jerry Sandusky trial, the obvious questions come to the surface: Who can I trust to care after my kids and how on Earth can you spot a person that might not have the best interest of my children at heart? Before any of the horrifying truths came out, this man was generally viewed as a kind-hearted, overly nice grandpa type figure that nobody outside the Happy Valley community had even a single concern about. How could anyone have known that he was the ultimate monster? Looking back, it is quite easy to see images of this man and think “Wow, what a creepy dude…he obviously has some deep rooted issues within him somewhere”, but up until that fateful discovery day, not a cross thought entered into the general public’s mindset concerning this fairly public figure in the college football community.
We can’t be with our kids 24 hours a day, and even if we could, it could easily be considered unhealthy as their social skills and independent tendencies would clearly suffer later in life, so we turn to caregivers in many different forms: babysitters, daycare workers, teachers, friends, parents of friends and so forth. It’s basically a must for both parent and child to have time away from one another for reasons that are clearly too many to list here. Can you imagine little Johnny or Suzie being dropped off at the university student center after 18 years of constant parental supervision and guidance? Actually, please strike that request from this post, the results are too frightening and depressing to even conjure up images of, so let’s continue to focus on the task at hand. I don’t believe there is an actual formal study of this, but one would venture an educated guess that 99% of all child caregivers generally have good intentions with regard to your children, albeit with varying degrees of quality and success. But we can’t ignore that 1%, can we? The consequences are too dire and are too damaging to the fragile mind of a child to turn a blind eye to these long odds.
I generally find myself on the ‘too trusting’ side. I don’t suspect, or expect bad things to come from people, and on occasion, I find myself disappointed. But, like the trust trooper that I am, I get right back up on that horse and saddle up against the next would-be promise keeper that comes hopping down the bunny trail. Most people don’t set out to deceive, manipulate or mislead, but somehow things just work out that way as people are presented with a situation that they didn’t see coming, therefore they must improvise, and in doing so, somebody loses. Of course the degrees of losing are quite vast, but doing someone ‘wrong’ is wrong, no matter how little it may seem. I’ve done it and I’m certainly not proud of it. I will never forget that time I beat that little ol’ lady out of that prime parking spot in that asphalted square mile lot that sits adjacent to the local Wal-Mart. (no…it WASN’T a handicap spot!!!!!)
Adult on adult parking spot crime is one thing, but adult on child predatory activities are quite another. I can’t imagine the rage that would be pumping through my veins if anybody violated the trust of one of my two little ones. As I was in my first year as a T-ball coach this year, I would often look around to see all the parents and was very cognisant of the fact that these people are turning over their precious babies to us for a couple of hours and I found that to be a much larger responsibility than I had considered when I signed up for this monumental task. It felt great to be a positive roll model to these kids and it felt even greater to get compliment after compliment from most of the parents on how their kids were handled throughout the season. We had one goal: to make sure these kids remember us for the rest of their lives. (Who am I kidding? Our other goal was to beat the other team to a pulp. I mean…this IS T-ball for crying out loud.) But even considering the good job that was done, these parents don’t REALLY know us. Trust me, I think I am a pretty dang good person, but you have to look at this situation objectively here. I am a stranger who is in a position of trust for these 5 and 6 year olds. And no matter the person, a parent would not be doing his or her job if they didn’t watch my every move with a keen eye. I would be doing the same thing. 
So, in the end, how can we know if something is amiss? You can’t. All you can do is use your God given ability of good judgement and trust yourself on your people evaluations. If anything is out of place, then a fact finding mission is necessary. Ask around and see if you can find anybody else that might have the same thoughts or suspicions about the person in question. Go to their co-workers or their supervisors and have a discrete conversation. One of the most powerful tools we have in this world is the ability to inquire and I am a firm believer in the notion that if you want to get to the bottom of any situation, just flat out ask….and then ask some more.
G New
