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Recently, my 6 year old son had a fairly minor accident (relatively speaking of course) on our treadmill in which he cut his finger pretty good. Yes, I understand…kids and treadmills don’t mix…a lesson we are all more familiar with now more than ever. This particular injury required many creams and ointments, many more band aids, and one not so cheap antibiotic that had a very sweet taste to it, for which I am forever grateful. After what seemed like several weeks, it had almost healed and we were reduced to just an occasional band aid to keep the healing process moving forward. I began to tear one out of its package and then remembered that he was about to get into the bath, thereby ruining a brand new band aid so I decided to place it face up on the table so we could apply it after our nightly cleaning process. It was stuck to a finger so I pulled it off using the other hand, like most any normal adult would attempt to do. As you may have already figured it, the process was transferred over to the other hand, because I had grabbed the opposite sticky end of the band aid. This back and forth moronic activity went on for a few seconds until my 4 year old walked over to me because she could clearly see that I was struggling. Without hesitation, she put her finger in the middle, held the band aid down on the table, which allowed me to free myself from both ends of the sticky situation that I had gotten myself into. I immediately looked at her grinning face, thanked her and then said a little prayer thanking God that she was too little to make fun of me yet. I’m not sure what the age that sort of reaction would begin at, but I can only hope that I wise up before she gets there, as to not repeat such embarrassing circumstances.
Immediately I begin to wonder how she knew how to fix that situation so quickly. How could someone who has no clue how things work around her during her normal day to day life, be able to figure out such a cognitive problem without hesitation? While I don’t pretend to have an accurate answer to such a complex question, there is something that I have most certainly figured out 6 years in to this giant parental experiment. Every one of these unique creatures has been hard wired with their very own strands of DNA that shape the way they think, the way they behave and the way they progress physically. I have full confidence that her older brother would have not recognized the answer to this problem so quickly. Not because he is less intelligent (he’s actually sharp as a tack), but because his brain just doesn’t function in the same order that his little sister’s does. Of course, as they grow up, there are a million outside influences that can alter what they believe, how they behave or even what they will look like, but who they are will always be in there somewhere and it’s up to us as parents to keep them close to the path that they were designed for. Our number one job is to be the rudder for their lifeboat, and not the lifeboat itself. Too many parents make it their goal to keep their child afloat long after they should be shipping out on their own, which clearly is a failing strategy because the weight limit for such a lifeboat is only designed for one. The examples of enabling are far too many to list here, but I am confident that if you think about it, you will know of which I speak. So, if you are still helping your 10 year old get dressed in the morning, I would suggest you try to be a little more rudder and a little less lifeboat.
